Transcript
SPEAKER_02
0:04
The 1026th session of The Strategists is called to order.
SPEAKER_02
0:18
For what purpose does the member from Calgary rise? Thank
Corey
0:20
Thank you, Madam Clerk. I appreciate the recognition here. I'm rising to make a nomination for host of The Strategists. The
SPEAKER_02
0:29
The chair recognizes Mr. Hogan.
Corey
0:32
Thank you, Madam Clerk, and my condolences for your long-suffering being the spouse of Stephen Carter. I rise today to nominate Kevin
Corey
0:41
Kevin McCarthy to be host of the Strategist podcast. Mr. McCarthy, of course, has a long history of getting things done, of not wearing out his welcome, certainly of being able to read things as they are. and uh and that level of on the baldness i think would be an excellent match for um our podcast madam clerk i
Corey
1:07
i have to note a few things about uh speaker mccarthy and or presumptive speaker mccarthy you know what he's probably not going to be speaker mccarthy but i still think he's a good candidate for host and
Corey
1:18
and i'll tell you why the
Corey
1:21
job of host of strategists is to fill time And Kevin McCarthy has filled
Corey
1:26
filled an awful lot of time in the past three days, perhaps
Corey
1:30
perhaps more than we thought was even possible.
Corey
1:34
And for these reasons, Madam Clerk, I believe that this
Corey
1:38
this nomination would be welcomed by the members of the Strategist Podcast. And certainly,
Corey
1:44
certainly, you know, I'm happy to throw this nomination.
SPEAKER_02
1:53
For what purpose does the member from Alberta rise?
Carter
1:57
I wish to make a nomination for host of the strategists or speaker of the strategists. The chair recognizes Mr.
Carter
2:06
Thank you very much, Madam Chair. I'm grateful, as always, for your attention to me and spending time with me, frankly. Thank you. I would like to nominate Mr. Hakeem Jeffries. As you know, the strategist has a longtime commitment to diversity. and uh having
Carter
2:25
having mr jeffries as
Carter
2:28
as our host is going to continue that uh reputation as well we are consistent and that is one of our great uh pieces of value as a podcast our consistency uh matches that of mr jeffries who has gotten in 11 straight votes 11 straight votes mr jeffries has gotten uh 212 votes um which is very impressive i actually did expect that that would start to waver at some point but it has not wavered he has been mr consistent he has been um perfect in every role and i think he would be the perfect replacement uh for our current host and i look forward uh to him our former host i guess i guess i look forward to him becoming becoming our next host or speaker of The Strategists. His record of 11 nominations for speaker without being successful is pretty impressive. In the last 100 years, no one else has done that. So we're also very proud of him for that. But that is my nomination, and I ask that he be considered.
Carter
3:42
reading clerk will now read the role.
SPEAKER_02
4:03
Having not reached a majority of the whole number of the members of the Strategist podcast, no
SPEAKER_02
4:09
no host has been elected.
Corey
4:17
you, Madam Chair. I am rising to make an additional nomination for host. Having deadlocked on the last one, I would like to nominate Anthony Roda, current Speaker of the House of Commons in Canada.
SPEAKER_02
4:28
The Chair recognizes Mr. Hogan. Thank
Corey
4:32
Anthony Roda is not somebody we would deem a great speaker, or even a speaker we could remember without a quick Google. google but uh anthony rhoda does have one thing going for him and that is that he followed andrew sheer as speaker um and that that always helps you know you picking the person you replace always helps and in the same way i think anthony rhoda would benefit as the next host of the strategist podcast uh also with the with the benefit of seeing what's going on in the united states you're really sort of understanding that this canadian system of choosing the
Corey
5:05
the speaker is is perhaps superior,
Corey
5:07
superior, and it would allow us to have our Canadian superiority already complex on full display. The American system and the Canadian system seem so similar at times, and both of them suffer from what I would call an overabundance of pageantry. And when you look at the Americans, you have this system that it was almost cast in bronze when they created their country in the the 18th century. And no matter how asinine, how foolish it seems as they run through this pageantry, they find themselves unable to break away from it. What I find totally crazy about what's going on in the United States right now is
Corey
5:45
is that it is run almost
Corey
5:49
based on precedent layered on top of one line in the United States Constitution. That one line does not even in its its entirety speak to the Speaker of the House. It just says that the House elects its officers. And what they've done is they've kind of put in that bronze through 200 plus years. There's only one way to do that. And it's through a combination of precedent and House rules. And, you know, Madam Chair, I was reading through some of those House rules today and I was reading through some of the precedent and I
Corey
6:22
don't know how they get out of this straitjacket. I mean, like they're layering decisions upon decisions upon decisions, but ultimately somewhere along the way, somebody decided not
Corey
6:31
not because of any functional reason, not because of any constitutional requirement, but only out of the
Corey
6:36
the desire to continue the American experiment as it was designed in the 18th century, that the very first thing the House of Representatives has to do is nominate a speaker and
Corey
6:49
and then select that speaker. They don't even swear in their members. They don't even do the oaths until after they've chosen that speaker. And there's frankly no reason for it. And the fact that there's no fallback position, I
Corey
7:03
I mean, it's just very hard to imagine why they came to that. They
Carter
7:06
They could be dragged from
Carter
7:07
from their seat to the speaker's chair. That would add a totally convincing aura of authenticity. My apologies for interrupting.
Corey
7:20
what uh what the quote-unquote honorable member just did was um mentioned some of canada's own pageantry but there's a practical pageantry i think we have in canada here frankly
Corey
7:30
frankly i think it's in part because britain is an older country and we rely a lot on those traditions and they've probably seen a few of these things go way south and way sour and they found ways that they can You can choose a speaker in more contentious – I guess, I assume. I mean the fact is in the United States, in the 20th century, in 1923, there were nine ballots per speaker. That was the last time there was more than one. And now we're going back to precedence from the 1850s where it went on for days and days and days and days, weeks in fact. Well, plurality
Carter
8:01
be in order. I'm looking for a plurality.
Corey
8:03
Well, so this is the thing. They now have the ability to change the rules and go to a preferential ballot, which to me seems incredibly reasonable. It seems like the kind of thing we do here in Canada. But they can't. They can't. They can't because of a combination of the pageantry that they are stuck with from 250 years and the practical reality that having only two parties that both vilify the other gives no room for negotiation with the other. The way that they have vilified each other means the only dealmaking can be within their party. And
Corey
8:33
And as long as four or more members of the Republican conference do not want their speaker, they can hold hostage the
Corey
8:40
the other 200 plus.
Corey
8:44
Oh, and that's why I'm doing, I think it was Rhoda I said. Yeah. You know, Scheer would be better too. I'll take Scheer or Rhoda.
SPEAKER_02
8:52
For what purpose does the member from Alberta rise? I would like to nominate the
Carter
8:58
the Honorable Nancy Pelosi. The chair recognizes Mr. Carter.
Carter
9:03
Thank you, Madam Chair.
Carter
9:05
As people know, I have been the old man on the podcast, The Strategist, for quite a while.
Carter
9:13
And I think that
Carter
9:14
that by having Nancy Pelosi, certainly, we would gain a new type of voice, a septuagenarian's voice, or as an octogenarian. i mean really it doesn't matter as long as we keep her much older than me and i think it would be quite spectacular she has been known to deal with unruly members um so both cory and i could use that kind of guidance uh i often refer to cory as my unruly member um sorry i don't
Carter
9:46
that can i laugh at my own joke is that okay um
Carter
9:49
um anyways uh nancy pelosi no
Corey
9:51
no one else is here to do it We're
Carter
9:53
We're saying he's so good at this. Nancy
Carter
9:55
Nancy Pelosi, first of all, she actually was able to keep all of her members in order. They actually achieved things like the first thing I just throw in this out there. The very first thing that they achieved, electing
Carter
10:09
electing Nancy Pelosi as speaker. That was that was done in one try. This has taken 11 and it hasn't worked. And I would like to add, the
Carter
10:19
the ideological diversity of the Democrats is not different than the ideological differences in the Republican Party. Both conferences have wackadoodles, and those wackadoodles are unpredictable. The Democratic wackadoodles all fell in line behind Pelosi. They all knew the rules. If they didn't fall in line behind Pelosi, there wasn't going to be a government that could function. they chose government that could function because ultimately they
Carter
10:48
want a government that functions this is the problem with electing people that don't want a functioning government that don't believe in government ultimately
Carter
10:57
ultimately if you don't believe in government then you have no problem undermining all the principles all the pieces that make government actually function and that's what we're seeing from the likes today of you know lauren bobert and uh marjorie and matt gates and And what was his name? Phil something? Phil's pretty great. I like him. Excellent speaker.
Carter
11:20
And so that, Madam Chair, is why I am choosing today to nominate Nancy Pelosi.
SPEAKER_02
11:31
reading clerk will now read the roll.
Corey
11:44
Whatever I said about that Rota-Shearer combination, that's my vote.
SPEAKER_02
11:49
Having not reached a majority of the whole number of the members of the Strategist podcast,
SPEAKER_02
11:56
no host has been elected.
SPEAKER_02
11:59
For what purpose does the member from Calgary rise?
Corey
12:02
Thank you, Madam Chair. I rise to nominate for host of the Strategist podcast, Joseph Biden. Chair
SPEAKER_02
12:10
Chair recognizes Mr. Hogan.
Corey
12:12
Thank you, Madam Chair. Joe Biden has
Corey
12:15
has never looked more like a winner than this. These days, nobody is talking about Joe Biden. I mean, if you ever wanted any evidence that the Republican Party is broken, this last couple of days have provided them. You know, it's the old joke about the leopard eating faces. You know, the person who supported leopard eating face party surprised when leopard eats their face. Well, yeah, Kevin McCarthy has been hanging out with these dicks for years being more than happy to sit in the same caucus in the same conference as matt gates and lauren bobert and now he's he's shocked shocked to find gambling is going on in these premises right and here we are um with the republican party i think now in kind of the end game of their destruction which is not to say there won't be a republican party tomorrow but you can't help but watch this and say they're
Corey
13:04
they're clearly not one party and the you know their Their moderates are not that moderate anymore, but there's still something way beyond that moderation that they've been flirting with for so long that they just they they always seem shocked when they can't control it. They were shocked in 2016 when it resulted in Donald Trump. They were shocked in 2022 when it looks like it's going to result in Kevin McCarthy. I mean, at the very least, having to concede so much authority of the speaker's office, putting
Corey
13:31
putting himself on such a short leash that he's functionally a dead man walking, even if he gets the job. And it's by no means given that he gets the job.
Corey
13:41
So Joe Biden, A, looks very good in comparison. And when we go shopping around for hosts, I think, you know, I heard what the honourable member said in the last round about wanting to have a very, very old host to seem relatively young. Joe
Corey
13:55
Joe Biden also solves that for him.
Corey
13:57
I think he'd be a good compromise candidate. But in addition to that, you know, he brings a certain Thunderbird energy that would really help with, you know, the meme culture that the strategists have been trying to generate. And like I said, never looked better, simply because his opponents have never looked worse.
SPEAKER_02
14:21
For what purpose does the member from Alberta rise? I'd
Carter
14:24
I'd like to nominate another old man to compete with Mr. Biden, an old man that knows how to lead this country. I would like to nominate President Donald Trump.
SPEAKER_02
14:40
chair recognizes Mr. Carter. Joseph
Carter
14:43
Joseph Biden is not the only old man that is available to this group. um
Carter
14:50
fact arguably he is far too effective to be the speaker of the house of representatives or
Corey
14:54
or a speaker of the strategists
Carter
14:56
donald trump as one of the uh one of the architects of this dysfunction dysfunction i think really actually holds the key to trying to bring everybody back together um donald trump sits in mar-a-lago right now trying to use what little power he has left to try and bring everybody back together on the end of the first night of all of this rigmarole all donald trump actually did make the you know make the the truth the truth social he posted that he wanted everybody back together and working together for the republican party and the 20 or 21 um people who disagree the the 21 members ignored donald trump and that to me is a great sign that we all get to ignore donald trump the way that we ignored zane belgi when he was our our host do you remember when he would ask us those questions and we would just ignore whatever he asked and we would just give whatever answer we felt like giving that
Carter
15:52
that set the precedent point it's happening right now with donald trump so i say to you i say who could be a better host for the strategist podcast than a man who is a great um fraud a man who has great hair the rivals even even my own, I say to thee, Corey Hogan, we need to nominate Donald Trump to become the next host of the Strategist Podcast.
SPEAKER_02
16:23
reading clerk will now read the role.
SPEAKER_02
16:46
Having not reached a majority of the whole number of the whole of the members of the Strategist podcast, no
SPEAKER_02
16:53
no host has been elected.
SPEAKER_02
16:57
what purpose does the member from Calgary rise?
Corey
17:00
Thank you, Madam Chair.
Corey
17:03
My esteemed colleague has got me thinking, you know, truth social. Okay.
Corey
17:08
There's better things than truth social out there. I rise to nominate for host of the Strategist podcast, Elon
SPEAKER_02
17:15
The chair recognizes Mr. Hogan.
Corey
17:19
Thank you, Madam Chair.
Corey
17:23
one of the founders of PayPal, current
Corey
17:24
current CEO of Tesla, current CEO of SpaceX, current CEO of the Boring Company, current CEO of his
Corey
17:32
his Neuralink company, current CEO of
Corey
17:37
uh probably has some spare time and this podcast has never been much of a time commitment of zane belgium it's very apparent i think and chester's before i mean chester was no better chester would come in from a three martini lunch and he just hit record and it's the reason we actually had to go off radio and go to the podcast format in the first place here uh
Corey
17:57
uh i believe that elon musk brings a lot of the attributes that stephen was just talking about in terms of spectacle of the outrage and the ability to garner attention on social media that would be of benefit to us in our podcast as we continue to sell out and continue to find ways to have more relevance on less important things. So Elon Musk has really ably shown his ability to move markets more recently down than up, but certainly in both directions. He creates spectacle. He creates his own storylines. We would never be struggling for a podcast episode topic again if Elon Musk was the host of this show because every three days he does something crazy. Today, he was posting about how Kevin McCarthy should be Speaker of the House. And then he posted a poll saying, hey, should I be involved in politics still? And the answers were, get out of politics or keep shooting yourself in the foot. And he had a lot of fun with that. He can't stand to be out of the limelight. He can't stand the fact that Grimes, who wasn't even actually his wife, left him. And he's having a breakdown in real time, which I think would sort of help mask the breakdowns in real time that Stephen and I are having over the general state of the world. So, yeah,
Corey
19:17
yeah, I think Elon, pretty
Corey
19:19
pretty good choice. I think one that clearly Stephen could agree with, clearly.
SPEAKER_02
19:29
Order, please. For what purpose does the member from Alberta rise? I
Carter
19:34
I am rising today to counter Honourable Corey Hogan's recommendation for Elon Musk with someone who is a true social media whore, someone who has really jumped into the QAnon fray. and I am nominating Marjorie Taylor Greene to be the next host of the Strategist podcast.
SPEAKER_02
20:02
The chair recognizes Mr. Carter.
Carter
20:04
Thank you, Madam Chair. And again, may I just say, your chairing of this meeting has been spectacular.
Carter
20:15
Both Corey and I are thrilled to have someone who's actually finally in charge of this podcast podcast instead of Mr. Velji. This has made the podcast much more orderly, and we are grateful for it. And we're also grateful that we're not being asked questions, those pesky-ass questions that require answers.
Corey
20:33
Yeah, no follow-ups. Not
Carter
20:36
Marjorie Taylor Greene is
Carter
20:40
a relationship-focused person. She understands the values of relationships. She understands how important relationships are to the future. Right now, Marjorie Taylor Greene is in a relationship with Q.
Carter
20:52
She understands the value of Q. She understands who Q is. She sees Q as the future.
Carter
20:59
But not only that, Marjorie
Carter
21:00
Marjorie Taylor Greene is also in a relationship with Donald J. Trump, the former president of the United States of America. Her relationship with Donald Trump is legitimate. It is real. And she has been worshiping at his pedestal for quite some time.
Carter
21:16
Marjorie Taylor Greene is not such a relationship stickler that she's actually staying in a relationship with her husband. Despite
Carter
21:22
Despite her conviction that gays can't marry because of the Bible, because marriage is for life, because marriage is a special state of being, she's leaving her husband and allowing that relationship to end because
Carter
21:34
because hypocrisy is what the Republican Party stands for today.
Carter
21:39
I think that Marjorie Taylor Greene would be the perfect host for the Strategist podcast because cory and i well damn it we're just too good to our wives we are too good a husband and we need someone to come in and show us what relationships really should be looking like so
Carter
21:55
so i think that marjorie taylor green with all of her bombast and all of her media relations skills will come in here and teach cory and i exactly what media relations looks like i mean we'll know exactly when to drop the f-bomb in a podcast because marjorie taylor green she's spectacular at it. So without any further ado, Madam Chair, I nominate Marjorie Taylor Greene to be the next host of the Stragis podcast.
SPEAKER_02
22:22
The reading clerk will now read the role.
Corey
22:34
Do we just do first names now? I
Carter
22:35
thought we'd give that a try. Yeah,
Corey
22:37
okay. I I didn't mind it. It was okay.
SPEAKER_02
22:40
Having not reached a majority of the whole number of the members of the Strategist podcast, no
SPEAKER_02
22:46
no host has been elected.
SPEAKER_02
22:49
For what purpose does the member from Calgary rise?
Corey
22:52
Thank you, Madam Chair. I rise in the hopes that we can break this logjam by also doing some good in the world. So I'm rising to nominate Roger Goodell to be the next host of the Strategist podcast. Roger Goodell. Oh, the
SPEAKER_02
23:07
the chair recognizes Mr. Hogan.
Corey
23:11
Roger Goodell, commissioner of the National Football League, has
Corey
23:16
has had a real
Corey
23:18
real bad go. He's a real bad commissioner.
Corey
23:20
We could talk about the
Corey
23:23
small things like the closing of NFL Europe. We could talk about the controversies that clearly show disregard for the fans and kind of general rules like Spygate and Deflategate.
Corey
23:34
We could talk about the labor dispute with the refs and the replacement referee. And you remember how bad that was?
Corey
23:39
We could talk about how he started punishing celebrations.
Corey
23:42
We could talk about all of the domestic violence cases and the approaches that the NFL had to them. Situations like the Ray Rice suspension, which only became, you
Corey
23:51
you know, indefinite after incontrovertible evidence that likely the league already had their hands on, became public. And, you know, ultimately, Ray Rice did manage to beat that indefinite suspension. But the fact that the league was going to let him off the hook before that, I think, speaks volumes. And of course, we have to talk about the heart attack that occurred that almost didn't end in a game cancellation because the NFL was willing to, it
Corey
24:20
it seems, willing to just start play again once they managed to get the body off the field. so
Corey
24:25
so why would a man like this be an excellent host for the strategist podcast i mean the reality is simple the nfl is loved by tens of millions hundreds of millions the strategists relatively few tens of thousands hundreds of thousands so uh i think it would be the most honorable way uh to end the podcast is to bring roger goodell onto it uh removing him from his role as nfl commissioner in many ways in most ways i would say host of the strategist is better i mean it's It's just a better gig. You don't have to do anything. You roll out of bed. You show up five minutes before you go to nationalnewswatch.com and you see what's in the news. And and then you just talk until a question comes to you after about three, four hundred words. I think Roger Goodell could do that. And I think by and large, the world would be better if we got him out of NFL commissioner.
Corey
25:18
Many of you listening would suffer, but
Corey
25:21
but you've got to think of the greater good.
Carter
25:24
that is uh that's
Carter
25:27
that's wild man because i was thinking about roger goodell today and i was thinking this is a guy that we could work with so oh
SPEAKER_02
25:34
oh order for what
SPEAKER_02
25:37
what purpose does the member from alberta rise i
Carter
25:41
i rise today to follow in my my colleagues'
Carter
25:45
colleagues' good footsteps by trying to save the world from a person who is currently destroying it by bringing them on to the Strategist podcast.
Carter
26:00
Mr. Goodell is a person who...
Carter
26:11
follows the rules. His rules, for example, are that NFL games should be completed regardless of the potential deaths on the field. And I think that following the rules is not something that we're good at at The Strategist. So I am suggesting that we should get someone who is not a rule follower to join us on the podcast and become the host of The Strategist. So I am recommending and I am nominating for host of The Strategist Representative Lauren Bobart to join the strategists as hosts because of her commitment to lawlessness. The chair recognizes Mr. Carter. Thank you, Madam Chair. I am excited to
Carter
26:55
to nominate the gun-toting freshman Republican Congresswoman from Colorado who is big in law and order, believes strongly in law and order, believes strongly in guns. She's a committed guns right advocate. She wants to be able to carry her gun within the Capitol complex. She is a big fan of guns and big fan of shooting. She's also been a big fan of getting arrested. She was arrested for disorderly conduct in June 2015, she was yelling and inciting
Carter
27:35
inciting basically a riot of unruly young drinkers, which Corey and I often relate to as we are both unruly young drinkers. She also then decided not to attend the court dates, which also is keeping with not attending the strategist recording, podcast recording. Oh,
Corey
27:56
Oh, that's very like Zane. Yeah, very
Carter
27:57
very much like Zane. So I think that we can, you know, she's missed, from
Carter
28:01
from the 2015 charge, she missed two court appearance and was arrested again. And ultimately, the charges were dismissed. But a year later, she was charged with careless driving and operating an unsafe vehicle. And for those people who've been unlucky enough to travel with Zane Velji, that is, in fact, the way he drives his car. Well,
Corey
28:20
it is an unsafe vehicle. I don't think he'd dismiss that. What
Carter
28:22
What is it, 2005 Toyota Corolla? Is that? That's
Corey
28:26
That's it, yeah. So very
Carter
28:27
very much the same type of energy. Again, she chose not to show up for court. Warrant was issued for her arrest. She was then arrested again on February 13th, the day before Valentine's Day, Corey. And that says to me that she really has an understanding of the holidays. She pled guilty to those charges. And then her husband actually
Carter
28:51
actually had their pit bulls attack a neighbor's dog. So I think that those people are exactly who they are. Oh, I'm sorry. That was Lauren who did that. Jason, the husband, has been arrested for exposing his penis to two women at a bowling alley. So, you know, that's pretty normal. I'm going to skip over the domestic violence charge because I don't think that adds anything to it. Let me just say this. Lauren Boebert is an upstanding representative. The fact that she won again is a
Carter
29:24
a real tribute to the people of Colorado and their commitment to finding people who are substandard and don't follow rules. And I think that this is the perfect person to face off against your candidate, Roger Goodell, who believes in death on the fields, whereas Lauren Boebert just simply believes in killing
Carter
29:43
killing people with her guns.
SPEAKER_02
29:45
Reading clerk will now read the roll.
SPEAKER_02
30:04
Having not reached a majority of the whole number of the members of the Strategist podcast, no host has been elected.
SPEAKER_02
30:12
For what purpose does the member from Calgary rise?
Corey
30:15
Well, it seems pretty clear to me we're not going to resolve this tonight. We're at a bit of an impasse here. So I've been sidebarring with my colleagues. And, well, we have no reason to believe in any way, shape, or form anything is going to change this.
Corey
30:32
We're going to give everyone that false hope.
Corey
30:35
So we're going to, you know, Madam Chair, I motion to adjourn until the next recording of The Strategist, Sunday, January
Corey
30:46
at 8.30 p.m. We
SPEAKER_02
30:48
We have a motion to adjourn.
SPEAKER_02
30:50
All those supporting the motion, say aye. Aye.
Corey
30:54
Aye. All those opposed?
Corey
30:57
I'm sorry, that's how this works? The eyes have it. We
SPEAKER_02
31:00
We are now adjourned until 8.30 p.m. on Sunday, January.